"LIFE"
"As you rage rapidly through the rivers and rain,
Cross the stage carefully, but fear not the pain.
Turn the page verily, let your faith not disdain."
Said the sage cheerfully, for he was insane!
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"TEARS FOR GOD"
As the tears run down my face
Past my cheek
I search and seek
For a trace
Of reason
And I am amazed
At the pain
And the strain
And the infinite joy
Of loving you!
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"A FATHER'S PRAYER"
"A HUSBAND'S PRAYER"
May the angels always watch over you,
And may GOD always bless you.
For if the angels watch over you,
And GOD blesses,
Half as much as I love you,
Then you will always be watched over,
And you will always be blessed,
As you are always loved!
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"Rhythm & Rhyme, And Very Little Else"
As I walked thru the city,
'Twas such an ity-bity city,
And such a pity I walked thru it in one day.
For I came upon a stranger,
And just named-her Ranger Danger
As her horse behind the manger ate some hay.
Then when her husband said "Hello"
I felt like Mellow Yellow Jell-O
For his voice combined a cello and a "nay".
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"What the Macarena sounds like so someone who doesn't speak
Spanish"
Something Spanish, Something Spanish, say "Macarena"
Something Spanish, Something Spanish, rhymes with "Macarena"
Something Spanish, Something Spanish, say "Macarena"
Hey Macarena!
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1997 SUM OOP Poem I
'Twas the last day of class
And all were in elation
There would be no more talk
Of instantiation.
Larry was wishing
He had stayed in bed
While visions of wisecracks
Danced in his head.
Marylin looks like a cheerleader
Ron and James are always prudent
The rest make Leon exclaim
"Teachers are the worst students!"
Encapsulation, Concatenation
Polymorphism
This thought in the students' minds:
I just want to hit him!
So when your OOP says "OOPS!"
And your heart is filled with doom
Remember to ask yourself
Am I in the copy room?
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1998 SUM OOP Poem II
It's been another year
And yes, It's a fact
There's another poem from John
With even less tact!
We learned of arrays
They can be both dynamic and contiguous
But Jane won't like this verse
Because it's highly ambiguous!
We learned of stacks, and queues
And all of the AP classes
And we learned that Larry can be a pain in...
Oh by the way, has anyone seen Barbara's glasses!
Is there anything weirder
Than a school with 2 Mr. Schrams?
How about this fact:
The best lasagna I have had is from Braums!
Miraculous thing are happening!
And people rejoice thru all the lands!
But in Richardson, Texas we celebrate this fact:
Leon Schram can now draw Ampersands!
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1999
'Twas the SMU fortnight
And all through the house
No piece of hardware was stirring
Not even a mouse!
The boxes were crammed
In my Jetta with care
And I prayed my way home
'Cause I didn't have a spare.
The many uses of "const"
We considered their worth
With Leon's "refried horse manure"
And Maria's childbirth.
When in our own lab
Nancy's question rose a clatter.
Leon sprang from his soap box
To see what was the matter.
While looking for a roll
Jane flew like a flash
And into poor Stacey
She almost did crash.
And speaking of Stacey
We cannot be terse
Since I can't explain her
With one single verse.
It isn't her fault
That her hair dryer was broke
While visions of penguins
Her hair doth invoke.
She'll steal your chopsticks
And run into a pole
Mischief and mayhem
Is Stacey's real goal!
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You can count on Bruce
To say something strange
While John Smith plays
With his pocket change.
That group from Arlington
Cannot begin
'Till doughnut are consumed
And digesting within.
And even the back row
Has enough class
Not to eat "day-old-doughnuts"
Taken from the trash.
Y2K's the last year
Of the "BigInt Case Study"
But soon you will wish
You had a fishing buddy.
And I actually thought
I was done with this poem
But this group is so special
And I didn't know 'em.
To Beni-Hanna we go
Singing our joys and glees
But "Oh-Oh" we've been stopped
By the Dallas Police!
Officer "Having A Bad Day"
Was clearly annoyed
And said, "Do you have red lights
Up in Illinois?"
So I big you farewell
But be careful as you drive
'Cause I just got rear-ended
By idiot #5!
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Note: In May of 2000
I was rear-ended by idiot #6!
And in March of 2001
I was rear-ended by idiot #7!
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NOTE:
In 2000 we taught both a C++ and
Webmastering institute at SMU.
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2000 SMU Poem 4.1
It's year #4
And here's a new twist
We did no C++
'Cause Java's on the list.
We did HTML
And then JavaScript.
"The Calculator Program"
Was like "Tales From The Crypt".
It was bad enough with no A.C.
When our room got very hot
But dag-nabbit someone came in
And stole our coffee pot!
And while Trudy did move up
from "beginners" to "advanced"
Nancy's pictures would not load
So another computer gets a chance.
Gary is always calm
Ever helpful, ever steady
And by June 1st, 2008
His Chevy will be ready.
While the Advanced Class had fun
Drawing the states in our great nation
The Beginner Class endured
"The Giant Cockroach Invasion!"
Stacey behaved this time
Never did she frown
She even allowed me off my knees
And said, "There's no need to bow down."
It's true the "Mystery Check" was hers
But that did not cause any harm
Right now what I really want
Is for someone to shut off that alarm!"
So while Web Mastering requires
Complete and total emergence
Some minds are just not meant
To ever achieve convergence!
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2000 SMU Poem 4.2
If you were at the 2000 C++ institue and have a copy of what
was titled "SMU Poem 5"
could you please Email
it to me
so I could put it here.
This poem makes reference to the fact that one teacher (I think her
name was Bobby)
had to walk all the way to Berkner.
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Starting in 2001, we no longer
taught a single 2-week institute,
we instead taught 2 one-week institutes, so
now there are 2 poems each year.
However, the first year of this change I
did not write a poem.
(Nothing much happened that summer.)
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2002 SMU Poem 5.1
‘Twas a night before the workshop
And all through the lab
Not a PC was humming
‘Cause they got themselves nabbed.
But Leon showed up
His patience not taxed
And suggested another time
To get our floor waxed.
Yes, Dale was quite early
And Bruce missed a day
Leon was stretching
To take his pains away.
Then there’s that Oklahoma
“Code-Warrior-Princess”
Not to be named is her wish
So let’s talk about her star
No wait, that’s a fish.
They said C++ was bad.
Like walking through hot lava.
And once we figured it out
We have to deal with Java.
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While left-clicking and right-clicking
Can really be a drag
Compiling in Java shows
The true meaning Lag.
We accepted Applications and Applets,
But some things are quite inscrutable
Like working with certain classes
Especially Strings that are immutable.
Yes that topic did cause
Quite a bit of blank stairs
Then someone showed up
And demanded back their chairs.
While Leon yet again
Was stuck with the check
Several others were stuck
Behind a big wreck.
So good-bye for now
But one thing must I ask you
Does anyone have a copy
Of SMU Poem 4.2?
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2002 SMU Poem 5.2
‘Twas the first day of the workshop
in the back room of Ryan’s
We ate and we ate
And Leon was buyin’!
While Bill got in trouble
Serving himself a drink
Lyndon could resist
Giving our waitress a wink.
But not all were there
We were missing one van
In the parking lot of Spring Creek
Was the group led by Dan.
While driving back from lunch
Lynn was spouting curses
It's only been 2 days
And I already have 5 verses.
Yes Bobby is a morning person
Who carries alot of clout.
She'll make the "Sign of the Cross"
And draw her star inside-out.
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And when we ate at Beni Hana
Richard had sushi,
Bill had fried banana
And I waited for my wife patiently.
Yes Vaughn's feeling were hurt
When someone stole his chair
And after that fish assignment
Jan and Tanya gave us a stare.
While Dianna prints an entire book
And Barbara creates "Old Glory"
The AB group is goofing off
While Leon tells another story.
Leon got on his soap box again
To discuss various issues
And someday I will tell him
Only in one color comes toilet tissue.
So whether you type “GetDen” or “GetDem”
Or Lyndon says, “I’ll be danged!”
If we hear much more about OOP
Someone’s gonna get hanged!
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2003 SMU Poem 6.1
‘Twas the day before SMU
I was stirring like a mouse
Waiting for my ride
Who couldn't find my house.
But Bruce actually showed up
On that very first day
As we discussed important issues
Like Oklahoma teacher pay.
We fix some computers
And donated some blood
And if it rains much more
We'll have us a flood.
With so much OOP
Moral could have been sinking
Until Leon started to teach
"A new way of thinking"
We learned some fish are slow
And others are "darters"
But figuring out MBCS
Made us all feel like martyrs
While Nancy had good questions,
And Ann wanted to dance,
All are Object's children
Via divine inheritance.
While messed up windows & laptops
Made me feel kinda icky
My favorite part of this institute
Was the food we got from Dickey's.
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2003 SMU Poem 6.2
'Twas week 2 of SMU
And this week I'm not snoring
The computers work and Stacey's here
For sure, things won't be boring.
We learned hashing uses "buckets"
But for now we'll say compartments.
Because I need to find a rhyme
for "How are you doing in the girls department?"
toString calling toString
Was for some a mental incursion
We tried our best to explain
"No this is not recursion."
When your fish do not compile
You might feel like you have SARS
And suddenly you remember
It doesn't work without the jars.
If we don't go to lunch soon
Starvation will cause us to die
But we must wait because some teacher
Made this mistake of asking "Why?"
Lunchtime was interesting
We ate various flora and fauna
But previous years have spoiled me
I miss Beni Hana!
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MBCS is more fun now
To learn and demonstrate
And Leon had to show Suzy
Yes he did clean his plate.
Arrays and linked lists are so cool
But under a close inspection
To use something more general
You might want to use a collection.
No Stacey and Leon aren't married
As someone erroneously reported
However during a merge sort it was said
"Stacey, you are sorted!"
And now for poor Stacey
The time for an apology has come
All along I thought her the trouble maker
But in reality Bruce was the one.
Yes his comment was tacky
But it really made our day
And how much shopping can you do
On an Oklahoma teacher's pay?
See you at the next workshop
Dan of course will be first to confirm
Just ask him and he will tell you.
"The early bird gets the worm."
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SMU
Poem 7.1
‘Twas the night before
SMU
I
was working in my nook
Then
Dad gave me a call.
“Holy
Cow!” I forgot the books!
Our
class it was small
With
teachers who teach this and that
From
new topics like Oracle
To
the ancient Computer Math
Finishing
labs too quickly has a penalty
And
Chris was fast as a fox
So
Dad had him help students
And
carry a heavy box
Our
lives, like our data can be structured
They
can also be primitive to the last.
However
in life we should not judge
While
in Java we must type cast.
Preparing
for the AP Exam
Makes
one’s future seam darker and darker
But
whatever you do when using a white board
Don’t
use a permanent marker!
As
we mastered ArrayList
We
began to feel quite dapper
But things are not always so
simple
And sometimes you need a
wrapper.
toString, Interfaces,
and abstract classes
Are now in the 'A'
course.
Ah Man!
And if you want to know why
MBCS?
All you need to do is ask
Joanne.
The
Spanish class sure has rhythm
And
something else we cannot deny
All
classes inherit from Object
The
great big mamma class up in the sky
Yes,
we discussed Objects & Inheritance
Quite
frankly we learned a bunch
But
our most important lesson was this
11:45 is not too early for lunch!
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SMU Poem 7.2
‘Twas
the first day of class
And as poem 6.2 depicted
Dan was the first one here
Just as I had predicted
Leon kept us busy
With challenges unplanned and intentional
Like converting an ArrayList
Into something 2 dimensional
Missing Berkner is what I do
While eating from Styrofoam plates
Oh, and by the way Barbara
Hawaii is in the United States
Donna, Joe & Caroline were “next”
Barbara was “temp” and Joanne was “P”
Chris was NULL. And as for data…
The best person to play “John” was me.
Pointers is a topic
That Java says is lacking
But references certainly look like a duck
And if they could talk, they’d be quacking.
Leon showed us many things
Including sets that are hashed
But when he simply installed Java
His computer up and crashed. |
Nancy
was feeling tippy
Or at least it was reported
Luckily noone was tipped over
When people were merge sorted
We miss Stacey. We miss Bruce.
Some of you don’t even know-em
But even though they’re not here
They are mentioned in this poem.
We learned about MBCS
Leon’s sage advice we're heading
Then Donna got excited.
“Oh my gosh! My fish are breading!”
So while we think our programs are perfection
Since we used good error detection
And we made a good connection
When we followed every direction
If we look at our collection
Under very close inspection
We find a NULL Pointer Exception
So we must make another correction.
---
We then pause for introspection
And shout an interjection!
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