John's "Quotes" and Lists

Please chose from one of the following lists, or just scroll down to see all of them.

John's Original Quotes
Quotes from people who inspired me
Berkner HS Classes of 1998-2000
5th Period Novell NetAdmin 2K
Berkner HS Class of 2001
Berkner HS Class of 2002
Berkner HS Class of 2003 
Berkner HS Class of 2004
Berkner HS Class of 2005
Berkner HS Class of 2006
Berkner HS Class of 2007
John Paul II HS Class of 2008
John Paul II HS Class of 2009
John Paul II HS Class of 2010
John Paul II HS Class of 2011
John Paul II HS Class of 2012
John Paul II HS Class of 2013

You know you are young when...
You know you are old when... 
You know you are a husband when...
You know you are a parent when... 
You know you are nerd/trekker when...  

Definitions of eternity
Things that are on "The List"
It is very painful when...



John's Original "Quotes"

"Children are like coal.
My job as a teacher is to turn them into diamonds.

In order to do that, I need to apply a little pressure."

"Our past successes give us confidence,
and our past failures give us wisdom."

"Good teachers are born.  Good students are made."

"Don't buy anything that costs $19.95"

"Stupidity is defined as doing something brave when you don't have to,
and Bravery is defined as doing something stupid when you do."

"I believe if you could measure a person's Political Correctness
and their Functional Ability,
you would find the two are Inversely Proportional."

"Teach them while they are young."

"It does not matter how many times you did something incorrectly."

"I believe you have me confused with someone who cares."

"Anything is easy when you know how to do it."

"Rebelling for the sake of a cause is admirable."
"Rebelling for the sake of rebelling is pathetic."

"Children are not a burden, they are a privilege!"

"You are something to all of your students,
and everything to some of your students,
but you cannot be everything to all of your students."

"John 3:16 -- Nuff Said"

"When someone says, 'I can't', they usually mean 'I won't'.

"Whether or not you believe in GOD is not nearly as important
as whether or not GOD believes in you."

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Quotes from people who inspired me

"Nothing in life is obvious." -- Leon Schram (Dad)

"Women have ruled the world since the beginning of time
they just let men think they are in charge." -- Remy Schram (UNK)

"A man has got to know his limitations." -- Clint Eastwood

"Anybody can be humble when they are right,
but it takes a real character to be arrogant when they are wrong." -- Nipsy

"Ask not what your country can do for you,
but what you can do for your country." -- JFK

"I have a dream!" -- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"Let him who has no sin, cast the first stone." -- Jesus

"GOD will not protect you from the consequences of your own stupidity."
-- Deacon Bill Schuster

"Love is not a feeling. It is a choice." -- ??? 

"A man will spend $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs.
A woman will spend $1.00 for a $2.00 item she doesn't need."

"Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda

"It's very easy to forget what's important in life...SO DON'T!" -- "My 3Sons"

"Failure is not an option!" -- Jim Krantz -- Mission Control -- Apollo 13

"If you are a Christian,
you might be worried that someday you will be put on trial for your beliefs.
Stop worrying! You will be! The question is...
WHEN you are put on trial for being a Christian,
will there be enough evidence to convict you?" -- Deacon Bill Schuster

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What I will remember most
from BHS Classes of 1998-2000

Click here to see my Awesome Novell Network Administration Class of 2000

"You cannot learn computer science by osmosis." -- me

"It's not osmosis Mr. Schram it's diffusion.
Osmosis is diffusion of water." -- John Chappelle

"OK, let's load Netpad and Notescape" - Me

" 'Exclusive OR' sounds like the name of a Pokèmon" - Brad Jones

"Mike (Lewis) sit down!"; - me (repeatedly)

"PI is approximately
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884" -- me

"What's a syllabus?"

"Sign me in!"

The Incredibly Bubbly Personality of Misty

The entire lab crashing at exactly at 11:30am on 11-30-1999 -- coincidence or conspiracy?

"Quick, turn off your screen!  Mr. Schram is coming!"

"Too slow Sean." -- me

"What, another substitute?"

"That is number 573 on my priority list." - Mr. L.Schram

The power going out twice during the computerized final exam.

The difference between
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
and Y2K
is that Star Wars actually lived up to its hype.

"The key to taking Mr. Schrams' Test
is to look for the longest answer" - Chris Simmons

"Andy get in your desk!
No not in your desk, under your desk!"
and then Mr. L. Schram pushed in the chair.

"If I got it wrong, it's flaky!"

"The Rule of Ahmer"

"The stupid marker is out of ink again." -- me

Mr. L. Schram constantly stealing Mr. J. Schram's markers.

"Yes! The 286's are gone!" -- everybody

"Be quiet!  He's gonna have flashbacks!"

"Oh oh, Beth didn't get a 100 on the test,
I better check the answer key." -- both Schrams

(Formerly "The Schraminator", and before that "Schram-BO")

"What are you doing in my chair?" -- both Schrams

"Mr. Schram... your phone is ringing!"

"Bess is such a @#$%^&* pain!"

This conversation at open house:
Parent - "I am looking for room J116"
Me - "Do you want J116 A, B, C or D?"
Parent - "I don't know, the one Mr. Schram teaches in."
Me - "Which Mr. Schram? 'J. Schram' or 'L. Schram'? "
Parent - "Look, just tell me where the 'computer class' is!"
Me - "In our department alone we teach 8 different computer classes."

Rewriting the 6000 line ACDEC scoring program in 3 days.

Getting rear-ended for the SIXTH time!

"What is the difference between a tomato?"

"Wrong door!   Where are you going?!
This is not a hallway!" -- both Schrams

"The Bubble Sort Demo - Students make good data"

"The Tower of Hanoi Demo - Chucking the Windows '95 book"

Using Dr. Suess book to teach advanced computer science concepts.

"You are confused."

"Most college professors think that high school students have an academic maturity
somewhere between a Smurf and a golf bag." -- Mr. L. Schram

"Her book was in such bad shape,
it had its own ecosystem." -- Mr. L. Schram

"It is not appropriate to be late to class
because you are busy stuffing your faces
with fresh hot rolls.
Where did you get those anyway?" -- me

"We are now in arterial bleeding mode!"
This means we are so busy
that unless there is bright red blood
spurting from your arteries
we are not to be disturbed!

"Your Fired!"
-- the classic response anytime someone says something stupid

Building the rock climbing tower.

The person who has come the closest
to completing the advanced climb
and getting that climb named after them:
Patrick Henderson

Misspelling Hannah's name for an entire semester

The way Hannah hates  Weird Al Yankok's parodies
"My, my, this here Anikan guy.
Maybe Vader some day later
but for now a small fry
he left his home and kiss his momma good-bye
saying, 'Someday I'm gonna be a Jedi.
Someday I'm gonna be a Jedi.'"

"Whoa! The board moved!"

"You do not have my permission to fail!" -- me

"The way I instantly got the class quiet just before
K-RAM TV showed the teaser trailer of Star Wars Episode I"

The corruption of our ACDEC program during the Academic Pentathlon.
(and having to manually do all calculations by hand!)

And who could forget my EVIL quizzes!  HA, HA, HA!

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You know you are young when...

You think The Fantastic Four
is a copy of The Incredibles.

The word Bicentennial makes you think of a Robin William's movie
instead of the year 1976.

You have never seen a TV with 13 channels.

You have never had to "tune" your TV.

While you have heard TV commercials that say "Don't touch that Dial!"
or "Dial 1-800-ABCDEFG" you have never actually "Dialed" either.

You have never eaten a "Marathon" candy bar.

You have never gone to the mall to see a movie.

You have never heard the internet referred to as the
"Information Super-Highway"

You have never seen Regular gasoline that was not Unleaded.

You think the 1980's were Retro.

You think the 1990's were Retro.

You think 2005 was retro.

You have never used your television as your computer monitor.

Not only do you not remember that Ronald Reagan was an actor,
you also do not remember that he was President of the United States.

When asked to name the first TV show that comes to mind
after mentioning the city "Beverly Hills"
you say "Beverly Hills 90210"
and not "The Beverly Hillbillies".

The Energizer bunny has always been "going and going"
as far as you are concerned.

You have never played a video game that only has one button.

While you grew up watching Sesame Street,
you think Elmo has always been the star,
and you have no idea who Mr. Hooper is.

The only thing that "OJ" brings to your mind is "orange juice".

What's Y2K?

What's Star Trek?
-- my daughter actually said this!

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You know you are old when...

You consider a "typewriter" an important business tool
and not something that belongs in a museum.

You remember when G.I. Joe was the name of a soldier.

You remember when "Lucky Charms" only had 4 "marshmallowey" shapes:
"Pink Hearts, Yellow Moons, Orange Stars, and Green Clovers...
part of this complete breakfast."

You were not able to see Star Wars (Episode IV) when it first came out,
not because of your age,
but because it was sold out for the first 6 weeks.

You remember when you could only buy tickets
for the next showing of a movie.

You remember 55 cent plate lunches.

You thought car phones were cool.

You know what "New Math" is.

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You know you are a husband when...

You accept the fact that everything is your fault.

The words "Yes Dear" are permanently engraved into your vocabulary.

When your wife and your mother-in-law are having an argument,
you take your wife's side
even though you know your mother-in-law is correct.

Your wife makes references to "our" money and "her" money.

Your phone bill arrives in an 8" by 11" envelope.

You stop caring that your single friends say that you are "whipped"
because you know that they will be sleeping alone tonight.

You know that you will love her even more tomorrow.

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You know you are a parent when...

You need anywhere from an hour's to a day's notice
to do anything spontaneous.

You have completely forgotten what it is like
to sleep uninterrupted for 8 hours.

The kind of behavior that you found annoying in other children
you now find completely adorable in yours.

You no longer find "Barney" annoying.

When someone mentions that their sweater is "Barney Purple",
you say, "No, Barney is actually a different shade of purple."

You have actually caught yourself "jamming" to Barney music in the car,
and your children are not even with you.

You cannot make a "You know you are a parent when..." list
without including Barney's name at least 3 times.

You know the names, colors, shapes, and personalities
of all the Teletubbies.

You use your children as an excuse to watch cartoons.

You have given up on your house ever looking neat again.

You have discovered the secret
of making Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches
taste as good as the one your mother used to make.

You realize just how much you can truly love someone that you just met.

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You know you are a computer geek/nerd
or have watched too much Star Trek when...

This was originally going to be 2 different lists,
but there was so much overlap it seamed silly not to combine them.

In an effort to be overly precise/exact you use slashes.

You are offended at the very idea of "too much Star Trek".

You complain that your computer does not have the various fonts for Star Trek letters,
and you actually know which font goes with which TV show.

You own every Star Trek movie, even the 1st and the 5th one.

Your remote control is shaped like a phaser (and has sound effects).

You refer to Seven of Nine as "The Goddess of the Cosmos".

You have actually gone to the doctor for computer related injures.

You may be a college graduate, but without a spell checker you are sunk.

You actually know what a LAN party is.

You know that STAN is an actual computer term meaning
Star Trek Area Network".

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Definitions of Eternity

The time between when your wife/daughter/sister says she is ready
and when she actually gets into the car.

The time between when Windows says it is 100% complete with something
and when it actually completes it.

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Things that are on "The List"

When I was growing up anytime something particularly unpleasant happened,
we would say "It is on 'The List' ".   Another name for this could be "It sux when..."

You step in a wet spot on the carpet while wearing socks.

You Realize the wet spot was caused
by your toddler reliving herself a minute earlier.

You Realize the wet spot was caused
by an overflowing toilet on the other side of the wall.

Just before you mail your taxes
you get another W2 form in the mail,
one where no taxes were deducted!

Your car runs out of gas on I-75
on the way to the preview showing of Jurassic Park;
and the shoulder is so skinny
you cannot (or dare not)
open your door to get out.

You find out your AAA membership has expired
after your car runs out of gas.

Your girlfriend says those dreaded words:
"Let's just be friends."

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It is very painful when...

You stub your toes on very sturdy furniture.

You mistake ear drops for eye drops.

Toddlers step on you with those special rubber shoes that stretch your skin.

You accidentally remove a zit while shaving
(and then you treat the wound with rubbing alcohol.)

You accidentally cure athlete's foot by spilling turpentine on your feet.

A bungy cord snaps...
and hits you in the worst possible place...
and there is a metal hook on the end!

You rip off your big toe nail!
(It took almost a year for it to grow back!)

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What I will remember most
from BHS Class of 2001

Spending the entire school year writing a new and improved
ACDEC and ACPEN Scoring programs - Me

APCS2 Quotes & Memories

"Bite Me!" -- Jeans Choi

"D&S Tests are EVIL!" -- Everyone in APCS2

"OK, That's a RAT!" -- Erik Klien

"No... I didn't break it! Shut-up!" -- Erik

"Here's a quarter. Call someone who cares." -- Jeans

"That's ReLarded!" -- Erik

"I beat you Jeans!" -- Megan Gray

"It isn't a contest Megan!" -- Jeans

"Mark..." -- Anyone in APCS2 when they were stuck

"I DON'T KNOW!" --
Mark Gebhart's standard answer when he got tired of helping everyone

"Yea Jeans!" -- Megan

"Jeans, go to the board!" -- Megan

"Hinman, I don't care what you have in World History!" -- Jeans

Cisco/Novell Quotes & Memories

"Hi, I'm Spence Little, C.N.A."


"Spence, stop the  Pterodactyl impersonations!" - Me (repeatedly)

Berkner's First CCNA ever -- Dustin Boyd

The 849 Club

Tucker's unique studying strategy.

First 4.11 CNA of the true millennium -- Hannah Houghton

First Sophomore 4.11 CNA ever -- Chris Graham

First Freshman 4.11 CNA ever -- Michael Wheeless

Just how did Michael Wheeless manage to be a "FRESHMAN" one year
and a SENIOR the next ????

First Perfect 4.11 CNA score ever -- Beth Wilson

4.11 CNA #30 -- Aaron Arnold
As promised, I shaved my goatee.

Munir Kundawala's Bloody Nose during his CNA Exam

Omair Bhatti's computer jamming on the last question of the CNA Exam

Steven Powell's clairvoyance  to study Network Printing before his CNA Exam
and getting several printing questions even though many people told him
printing was not on the exam.

2000-2001 Final Results: 43 CNAs out of 44 students

"Where are the strippers?" --
Me, teaching a lab on Network Cabling,
but not able to find the WIRE strippers,
and not realizing my poor choice of words
until it was too late.

"Farzan, why are you still here?!" -- everybody

"The Novell Software" used at the end of the 2000-2001 school year


"I got Snoopy!"

"Graham Cracker"



"Kill 'Da Wabbit!"

"Weed got me!"

"There is something just so satisfying about blowing up the Energizer Bunny."

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What I will remember most
from BHS Class of 2002

"Full control is a pain!" -- Everyone in APCS2

"SIT DOWN C.J. !!!!" -- Mr. J. Schram - daily

The sound of something crawling in the ceiling...

Matt Wu's awesome Gigaman game

The mind blowing battle game created by Matt Wu and Nan Xiao

Every student claiming they are engaged in "software testing"
while playing the above 2 games in class

The leaking ceiling during a Cisco test.

Next... The ICE falling from that ceiling during a Cisco test.

And finally the ceiling TILES falling during a Cisco test.

Matt Nelson's numerous injuries including stepping on a blowfish.

The table that collapsed when Mr. J. Schram picked up the sign in sheet from it.
(again, in 7th period Cisco)

"Matt, spit out your gum." -- Mr. J. Schram - daily

"Matt, turn off the pocket tank game" -- Mr. J. Schram - daily

"You found my floatie!"  --  The "Dora the Explorer" Website
which my daughter constantly went to when she was in my class

Chini and the First CCNA of 2002 -- Chris Graham

Highest CCNA Score ever -- Scott Bai

First 5.1 CNA ever -- Matt Brocker

Highest 5.1 CNA Score ever -- Mark Gebhart

"The Switch Lab" done at the end of the school year

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What I will remember most
from BHS Class of 2003

Eric Philips bringing me donuts on the first day of school.

Matthew Nelson actually bringing Mr. L. Schram an Apple

"The Adventures of LAN Man and his sidekick 'The Cloud'"
--- by Shea Rodgers

Elizabeth Quintanilla typing every word as I lecture.

Elizabeth Quintanilla and Charisse Jolly singing as they enter class.

"I am not a happy camper!" --- Mr. Casey

"Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" --- Mr. Casey

"Mr. Schram, my book is stuck in a tree." --- Mark Constant

The missing Cisco Chapter 6 Review found collated and stapled
to the back of the AP Computer Science 2 Chapter 28 Test.

"Who are you?" --- Me to David Hong after his haircut

Elyse Ellington braiding hair during class.

The pipes bursting causing all of the toilets in the school not to function.

"Can I break the computer with a sledge hammer?!" --- Colleen Shaw

"SHUT UP!!!!!" --- Doug Jones to all of the girls (and guys) with their jingling mums.

Elizabeth's shriek when a bug was on her desk.

The intense cologne smell when Matt Yartym spilt a bottle.

"And that's bad" --- The weird weather guy

"Is this a 'pen quiz' or a 'pencil quiz'?" --- Elyce Ellington

"Semesco" --- Alan Hutching's abbreviation for "Cisco Semester"

"You know what's a good name... 'JeffCo'." --- Jeff Ghouse

"Chica Chica Chica Chica Chica... Wheeeew!" --- Shea Rodgers

The Incredible Fermented Cisco Apple

" A " - " I " - " 5 "(instead of BHS)

TAKS being postponed thanks to TWO ICE DAYS!

2003 Networking Certifications:

Kirk Madera C.C.N.A
Shea Rodgers C.C.N.A
Jeff Collins C.C.N.A
Alex Raymond C.C.N.A
Marc Nugent C.C.N.A
Scott Steiger C.C.N.A
David Hall C.C.N.A.
Alan Hutchings C.C.N.A.

Elizabeth Quntanilla C.N.A.
Mark Roden C.N.A.
Eli Prince C.N.A.

Keeping my promise to Elizabeth and singing
"The Star Bangled Banner" in class when she became a C.N.A.
(and the fact that she brought her video camera!)

Elizabeth wearing my oversized coat

The blackout

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What I will remember most
from BHS Class of 2004

Endless construction.


"We can never have all 10 people here at the same time!" --

me, when I noticed that there was always someone absent.

"Mr. Schram, all 11 of us are here!"  --  Curtis

"What do you mean 11, there are only 10 of you?" -- me

"Well, Christian's necklace is so big it counts as another person." -- Curtis

"Greeting my brethren."  --  Christian

"1010 1110 1110 1111"  =  "AEEF"
What they meant to write was
"1011 1110 1110 1111"  =  "BEEF"
which in theory is the origin of:

"Delicious Meat"  --  Christian

"One, One, One, One, One, One, One, One, One, One, One, One ... "  
--  CCNA Students singing in binary  --  no I'm not kidding

"I was not trying to give the impression that I was actually studying."  --  Eric

"I don't know how big this router actually is, but do you see that little spot right there?
We think that's a man."  --  Curtis


"If I don't allow Charisse, who actually  has talent, to sing,
do you think I will allow you to sing?"  --  
me, whenever anyone else in Cisco tried to sing


"Curtis, that was your spaz attack for the day."  --  The Schrams

Mark's impressions of Billy Bob Thornton doing Slingblade

  Curtis' impressions of Lewis Black

"STMGM"  =  "Student Teacher Man Guy Man"  --
how my Cisco class referred to Mr. Anderson, my student teacher.

The fact that Mr. Anderson knew the names of all of my students in 3 days.
By the end of the school year, I still can't do that.

"Mr. Anderson has eyes like a hawk!"   --  me

Mr. Anderson's daily quotes on the board.

Cisco Nicknames:

"Number 1"  --  Eric
"Number 2"  --  Mark
"Number 5"  --  Christian
"Hip-man"  --  Robert
"The Bearded One"  --  Gary

"Eric is absent, so I am 'Number 1' today and you are promoted to 'Number 2'."  --  Mark

"And thus, I must inherit the jerk qualities of Number 1."  --  Mark

That weird chirping sound Robert makes

"It made my soul cry."  --  Curtis

"That's ridiculous.  And I know ridiculous."  --  Curtis

How quiet the room is when Eric and Curtis are absent

"When I am President, I am going to do away with nickels and horses!
There is no point to their existence!"  --  Mark

"If it weren't for my horse I wouldn't  have spent that year in collage." -- Lewis Black


 My Cisco Class' Endless Obsession With Palindromes:

Not a banana baton!
No sir, away!  A papaya war is on!
Nurse, I spy gypsies, run!
Golf, no sir, prefer prison flog.  

AIBOHPHOBIA  --  The fear of palindromes

" 'DVD' is almost a palindrome ... no, wait."  --  Robert

So I then decided to create a palindrome  paragraph with the names of all of my CCNA students:

Mark, Curtis, Gary, arts live.
Tony? Aw! Ana, it sir H. Charles.
Ab Erik? O Any lat?
Rob, or Talyna O.K. ire!
Basel, Ra, H. Christian away not!
Evil stray rags I truck ram!

"Hey Buddy"

The look on Sara's face when she thought her final project was erased

"Mr. Schram, can I borrow your Rubix Cube?"  --  Andrew

"Kit, as advanced as your Graphic Project is, how come the stop sign is a hexagon?"  --  me

"Doug, why do you have women's shoes?"  --  me

"Scott!"  --  me

"What did I do?"  --  Scott

"No not you, the other Scott."  --  me

How impressed I was with all of the graphics projects of my APCS1 students

"Some of you barely made it."  --  Mr. Casey,
speaking at the Graduation Ceremony

Going back to school for another week AFTER graduation.

May 27, 2004 - 6th Period Final Exam
(With a few Zero Hour visitors)
Room J116
After more than 20 years...
What started as a study hall & detention hall
and later became our computer labs
was used by students one last time on this date.
Next year...
It will be part of the kitchen.

And who could forget the epic battle between
the good, righteous, heroic  Synchronous,
and his arch enemy, the evil Asynchronous.

Curtis helping to build the Cisco Lab


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What I will remember most
from BHS Class of 2005

No more H or J halls.

We finally have a C hall!

Getting lost in BHS,
even though I had taught there for years,
AND am a former student of BHS.
(Things were very different after the construction.)

Mr. Casey falling down the stairs.

For the 1st 6 weeks of this school year:
We could not hear the bell in our hallway
-- which I called "Schram Hall" --
My watch alarm was used top dismiss students.

"That's Lunch!"

"That's the bell!"

We also did not have flags yet,
 So I projected images of the US and Texas flag during the pledges.

The introduction written by David Gebhardt read by Mr. Casey,
began with:
"David was born at a very young age..."
and ended with:
"...and now my favorite student -- pause for anticipation -- David Gebhardt!"

David climbing Mr. Schram's Rock Climbing Wall

"You Silly Goose!" -- Chris Litalien

Melissa's contagious 


"May I use the restroom?" -- Chelsea -- 3:19pm -- everyday

Travis and Charisse's frustration using the ADTRAN.
(It worked better after I installed the operating system.)

Aris Chang
-- when the entire school year without being absent or tardy for Zero Hour Cisco
-- overslept the day of the Final Exam!

(He was very lucky it did not break!)

Larry, Andrew and Aris help build the Cisco lab

Andrew juggling

"Forshizle" -- Andrew

Andrew brining his own chair to class.

Andrew building a giant 4 by 8 foot Nintendo controller -- that actually worked!

Andrew wearing a space helmet, a Cardboard Suit, and other weird things to class.

"Flaccidity" -- someone's  attempt at the word "Fallacy."

The day John Steger did his hair, or tried to.

John Steger breaking his knee while playing frisbee!

Same John Steger telling "an appealing woman" it was a Rugby incident.

"Steger has his finger up his nose!" -- Ali

"I had to get it out, it was a big one!" -- John

John helps build the Cisco lab

"Your next mission is to..." -- me

"Gentlemen!" -- me

Finding out that I have pronounced Sung Joon's name wrong for almost 2 years.

"ACL's will be applied." -- me,
(When I said this, I was actually not talking about applying filters to router interfaces,
I was referring  to certain young gentleman who needed to filter what comes out of their mouths.)

Having a Cisco test activated in every language but English.
(I'm sure the sub had fun that day.)

The day I reminded my Cisco class of the Transitive Property of Inequality.

Allen hopping on the table to turn on the projector.

Seeing one of my former students, Jensen Ackles, on Smallville.

My Learning Power class

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What I will remember most
from BHS Class of 2006

After a year in room E114, I found the remote control to the projector.

Golf carts in the hallway.

Some of my Zero Hour student holding the outside door open for me,
so I could take a shortcut in the morning.

"I'm hungry." -- Anthony Winslow every day in 3rd Period.

Kristin Boesch's interesting outfit on 5/8/2006

Kristin Boesch's outstanding performance in Hello Dolly

Humphrey Cheng, and the way he loves the smell of
newly printed Exposure Java books.

Clayton Anderson's "Fro" during TAKS weeks.
(Yes, it was really his hair!   No, I'm not kidding!)

The awesome FROGGER game by Clayton Anderson and Beau Yoder

OK we need these levels:
Very Easy,
Super Easy,
and Schram.
-- Clayton contemplating how to make Frogger simple enough for me to play.

The awesome PONG game by Dennis Liang

Annoying Announcements

"I don't think I will ever see a K-RAM broadcast." -- Kyle Morris

"YES!" -- Kyle, anytime his program worked

"Chapter 13"

"All 6 of you are here."

"16% of the class is in the restroom (1 student)."

"Don't Look!" -- Megan Fulmer --
not wanting me to see her Graphics Project until it was finished

"I got lost." -- Megan Fulmer's excuse for being late -- in May

"Good Morning Everyone." -- Me -- as I arrive everyday  to my Zero Hour class

"I just sat down." --
Several student every day who get tired of waiting for me
and sit down just as I arrive.

The Huge Cisco class

"Wake up Sam!" -- me -- repeatedly

"Sam... No-Chair-For-You!"

"Mr. Schram, when do we get out of here?" -- Sam -- daily

Sam helps finish the Cisco Lab

"This Sam guy has more quotes than me." -- Clayton Anderson

me as I point to both sides of the room in response to Sam's question

"Mr. Schram, what was the answer to questions 1-19 again?

"Basically, its..." -- Sam

"Sam, turn off ESPN!"

"10, 9, 8, 7..." -- Sam

"Sam, stop counting  out loud!" -- me

"I don't like the look of this." -- Jonathan Evans -- sung with Willie Wonka music

"How convenient." -- Jonathan

Johnathan helpis to finish the Cisco lab

That day in September 2005, when Andrew brought his textbook to class.

Margaret -- sleeping on the floor outside my classroom --
and NOT wanting to get up when Zero Hour started at 8:00am.  

Evan, get out of Brent's lap.

"What are you doing in my chair?" -- me

That day in May
when Ricardo brought a ferret to class
and tried to be discrete.

"Mr. Schram, can you go back to questions 1-19?"

"Did anyone lose a spoon?" -- me

"Yes!" -- Kyle

"Forgetting is part of learning." -- Johnny Shen

"I've been playing video games since before you were born." -- me

"We have reverance for your gaming ability." -- Bryan Davis

Nicole wearing a super hero cape to the final exam,

Nicole and Margaret never talking during Zero Hour,
but being totally crazy after school.

"Oh mi project er mui estupido." -- Nicole

That time one students asked to go to the restroom
while another student asked "Am I stupid?"
Hearing only the first student I said "Yes".
The second student thought I was answering her.

"I don't play chess!" -- Evan

"Then why is chess your final project?" -- me

"Pawns are just short bishops." -- me

Evan and Philip finishing the chess program with 3 minutes to spare.

"I did the background!" -- Evan

Fairwell to Book Tree and Richardson Square Mall

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What I will remember most
from BHS Class of 2007

"Mr. Schram, how do you spell HTML?"

Multiple mispronunciations of my name:
Mr. Scrom
Mr. Shwan
Mr. Davis

"I love the smell of fresh copies!"

After 2 years of waiting, Zelda Twilight Princess is finally released.
I skipped lunch to pick up my copy.

couple days later

Mr. Schram: "I got the Gail Bomerang."
Katherine Helms: "I got the Master Sword."

couple weeks later

Mr. Schram: "I got the Master Sword."
Katherine Helms: "I defeated Ganondorf."

Finding out that one of my students (Ben) actually lives in the house that I grew up in.

I made the mistake of saving Matthew Leslie's project from last year.
This project is so annoying that it might actually cause epileptic seizures.

Ripping off my big toe nail and having to wear special shoes for a few months.

And now, the something-something award for a remarkable student from New Orleans.
I thought to myself, "That has to be Johnathan Evans."
It was.

"I don't want to have to do aerobics to play a video game.
I just want to push a button.
That why I have a gamecube and not a Wii"
NOTE:  In July 2007, we visited relatives who had a Wii.
In September 2007, we bought our own.

I have considered myself I RAM since I was a student at Liberty Junior High School.
Now, after a quarter century, I need to think of myself as a Cardinal.
Farewell Berkner...

Me in the finished Cisco lab

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What I will remember most
from JPII HS Class of 2008

Getting use to teaching Computer Science without a computer lab.
(All students have laptops.)

OK, who made the mistake of telling my father that they were tired?

"Mr. Schram, what is Y2K?"

"Seriously, you guys are so young you don't remember Y2K?"

GOD did not give you 10 suggestions,
HE gave you 10 Commandments!
--- Sister Peggy

Joe, did you get a haircut?

Matthew, Jacky, stop talking!

Yes, you can go to the bathroom.
Yes, you can go next.

Mr. Schram, can I borrow a loner?

Yes, its behind the "L" cabinet.

Students sitting on the floor with laptops.


Emarld's notes on her homework.

Joe's mushroom drawings on quizzes.

Mr. A done up as a clown.

How do you dance with a messed up ankle?
"I just dance through the pain." -- Bridget

"Mr. Schram, don't you think Chris Brown is cute?" -- Bridget Ritman
"I am the wrong person to ask." -- me

"Mr. Schram, can we see Chris Brown again?" --
Every girl in my 8th period class when I was showing Bridget's project.

The awesome Beauty and the Beast Play.

Katherine Bhora actually finishing a test I specifically designed to be UNFINISHABLE.

"Mr. Schram, is this Algebra, or Computer Science." ---
Frequent question from my block class.

"Senior Morillo, Ben Aqui por favor."
Translation: Chris Morillo, come here please.

Confusing Dyhran with Caitlin

Confusing Michael with Philip Wallace

Confusing Michael Wallace with Matthew Thompson

"Max, where are your socks?"

Finding out my graduation gown was too small the day of Baccalaureate.

That time I told a student to close his computer just before I lead the class in prayer...
"In the name of the computer..."

"Stephen was my quietest student." -- Mr. L. Schram being facetious

Wow, for the first time I have a yearbook that is all in color.
It's amazing what a difference that makes.

Mr. Schram, will there be a curve on this?

Mr. Schram what do I need to pass?
Mr. Schram what do I need to get an 80?
Mr. Schram what do I need to get an "A"?
--- Several 8th period students, just before the exam

This is the day the Lord has made!
Let us rejoice and be glad!

--- Danielle Angeloni,
as she walked in for the last exam on the last day of school

Mr. Schram's 7 Second Prayer
Dear Lord,
Watch over these children
who are your precious lambs,
and grant me the wisdom
to be a good shephard.

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What I will remember most
from JPII HS Class of 2009

August 30, 2008

Paul Edwards:
"Mr. Schram, are we going to have a quiz everyday?"

Mr. Schram:
"No, sometimes we will have a test."

JPII HS Football Player:
"Let's unplug the chargers!"

Mr. Schram:
"Why do you want to do that, your batteries will die."
(Later I found out we were playing the "Chargers" that night.)

First game on the new JPII HS Football Field!

First Field Goal scored on the new JPII HS Football Field!
First Touchdown scored on the new JPII HS Football Field!

Finding Alex's "Lucky Green Jacket"

"Happy Tuesday!" -- Shannon Robinson

The hillarious announcements advertising the first social club dance.

The Interesting Headgear worn by Alex Creiner and Brock Hennig on Halloween.

"Schram Sqaured" -- Kiki Shiwach's way of referring to Mr. John Schram and Mr. Leon Schram

"Shiwach Squared" -- Mr. John Schram's way of referring to Kiki and Yasi Shiwach.

"Assassinator" -- Lexie Brennan

"We actually did our homework, so we get candy!" -- Chris Sledge

Mr. Schram's list of things that "we don't do" in Advisory.

This conversation:
"We've been there.  We've done that." -- Laura and friend
"Now you have that stuck in my head." -- Mr. Schram
"What?" -- Laura
"Well, I know the next line is, 'We see right through your funky hat.' " -- Mr. Schram
Both girls' mouthes drop in amazement.
"I have 2 daughters.  I see Wizards of Waverly Place on a regular basis."

December 8th, 2008  1st Period:
Marianne gives me her jump drive to print something for her.
My computer start making loud alarm sounds and says
"Warning a virus has been detected!"

Ryan, removing the keys from his keyboard.

That day in Adisory when Laura Adelson got 4 Candy Cane telegrams.

"What is Star Trek?"

"Is Star Trek the same thing as Star Wars?"

The awesome Tony Melendez concert on 2/6/2009!

"OK, we are going to play Simon Says.  Everybody stand up." -- Tony's friend
Everyone around me stands up.
"Guys, he did not say Simon Says!  I win!"  --  me

"I do not have my homework." -- Tim
"Then what file are you loading?" -- me
"I preparred a musical apology." -- Tim

Brock calling his Honor students file "ChuckNorris.dat"

"Ian, why is there yogurt on your desk?" -- me
"You ate my yogurt?!" -- Will

Allison, Meredith, Rachel and Maudi Gras Beeds!

"Are we really the greatest? ...    Well, yes we are." -- Mr. Poore

"Sweet.  I always wanted to be a guinney pig.  Dreams come true." -- Laura Adelson

"2 minutes... 4 chairs... no trash..."
"2 minutes... 4 chairs... no trash..."
-- Mr. Brian Gaffney just before lunch ends

Mneumonics for Compas Directions
"Never Eat Soggy Waffles" -- Me
"Never Eat Sour Worms" -- Dan Marinoni
"Oh, but those are good!" -- Laura Adelson

"That's what you think" -- David Tarantino
"Hey, that's my thing!" -- Ashley Adams
"That's what you think" -- David Tarantino

"I am unresistable." -- Michael
"Don't you mean 
irresistible?" -- me

The time Allison told me she was reading a book for English class...
and the book was upside-down.

April 28, 2009 in Advisory
5 different people borrow David's jump drive to print their social studies papers.

"Why does Advisory go so fast, and all my other classes go so slow?" -- Dan
"Advisory is 20 minutes long.  The other classes are  an hour and 25 minutes maybe?" -- me

The day Jordan remembered to bring her charger to class...
but forgot her laptop.

The delicious cake Shannon made for Anna's birthday.

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What I will remember most
from JPII HS Class of 2010

We now have DyKnow... and Mr. Schram is watching...

Lego Robots

Tilted Twister -- Solving Rubix Cube with a Lego Rebot

The "Turkey Legs" competition

The announcements for the "Turkey Legs" competition

Antonella removing the lint from anyone who entered the attendance office.

Special Breakfasts of the week

"Blazer." --
Kevin reminding anyone who leaves the room to put it on.

"Mr. Schram, did I leave my Algebra folder in here?   It has my English paper in it." -- Nick

"Wait a minute, aren't you the person who 5 minutes ago has his Christmas project
saved in the Lab04 folder, and Lab04 saved in the Christmas project folder?" -- me

Adam bringing a pillow to class to sleep after his exam.

Charlie, why are you dancing around the desks? -- me

From Matt to Charlie...
"The exam is going to be over before you pick a seat!"

Brittany ready with her calculator for any calculation I need.

"The problem is Bonquiqui only turned 3 times.  He needs to turn 4." -- me
"Actually Bonquiqui is a she." -- Emily

"Super Cool!" -- Alexandra

"Mr. Schram, I have a question about the final project." -- Charlie
"Do you mean the project we do in May?  Charlie it's January!  Go sit down." -- me

The time Susana was trying to turn off her robot which was spinning too fast for her to hit the stop button.

The time Kevin raised his hand so quickly that he popped his elbow

The totally awesome Spelling Bee play -- which I saw twice.
Seeing Mr. Leon Schram dancing the twist in the Spelling Bee play.

"Do vegitarians eat Animal Crackers?" -- Antonella

Record Breaking Snow and School Closed!

"Where is my shoe?" ... looks around for a bit ...
"Oh wait there it is.  It's on my foot." -- Emily

"Mr. Schram, what does Applet Destroyed mean?" -- Matt

"Posted notes come in all sizes." -- me
"They are like humans!" -- Antonella

"Are you planning on learning by osmosis?" -- me
"Actually, osmosis is dufusion of water." -- Adam
(Somewhere, John Chappelle, Novell Student, BHS Class of 2000, is smiling...)

Chase talking to his tennis shoes

Emily singing Tomorrow

"You have just a few seconds while I..." -- me to my Math Model class

The Spring Open House
Mr. Abronowitz has a static electricity machine that made your hair stand up.
I had someone take my picture with my cell phone.
He handed the phone to me just as I let go of the machine.
The resulting shock FRIED MY PHONE!
Luckily turning it off and on fixed it.

The day there were only 3 people in Advisory.

Julia, referring to a greater than sign ( > ) as a "crocodile mouth".

Mr. Pinkowitz's last broadcase for announcements.

Brittany's and Libbie's Lego Car actually ripping itself apart
because its motorized wheels were going in opposite directions.

Josh Tates and his "Legacy" which he calls "My Majestic Chariot".

NOTE: Kevin Reese also built the Chariot.

Colorado is my favorite state, out of the 12 we have. -- David

May I go to Walden's? -- May I go to Butcher's? -- frequent questions in Advisory

"Don't talk about work... Do it!" -- me

Alexandra's Laptop Battery never working.

Susanna, the wannbie senior.

Josh's reaction when he found out he was exempt from my final exam.

The way Father Alfonse startled everyone when he "barked" during his "dog" story.

The incredibly annoying noise made by Luis and Adam's project.
Without the noise, it is actually a decent video game.

Luisa and Luis talking/arguing in Spanish.

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What I will remember most
from JPII HS Class of 2011

Starting the first day of school with a Voki Avatar.

Rock-Paper-Scissors Battles in Advisory

"Mr. Schram, I caught a gecko."

Catherine with a "C" -- Katie with a "K"

The day we retreated to the Band Hall.

"Where is your nose?" -- Elizabeth
"In my backpack." -- Alan

The awesome St. John Vianney 1-actor play

The day 2 pro-football player had an assembly.
One of them did push ups with Mr. Philp on his back.
Then he military pressed 2 students holding on to a steel bar.
The other bent that bar into a U shape and rolled up a frying pan.
Then both put there Championship & Superbowl rings on Chase Layton.
"If you try to run, we will catch you!"
And they gave a great message...
"If you listen to the wrong voices you will make the wrong choices."

Grace's Shoelaces.

Aaron's reaction when I sneezed in class.

Mr. L. Schram's reflex games.

Dana wearing 2 backpacks.

December 16, 2010, 8:44am
"9 more days till Christmas!" -- Cole
"1 more minute till my exam!" -- me

Missing 5 days of school due to ice and snow in February.
I have not had this many snow days since I was 8 years old
waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the 1970s.

After a fire drill I got back to my classroom and was waiting for my students.
After a few minutes I went outside to see what was taking them so long.
They were all outside my door, thinking it was locked, not knowing I was there already.

Happy PI Day!
That's 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841...

Full Contact Musical Chairs!

The time Annalisa turned around quickly, knocked over an open Lego Box,
and caught it before 600 pieces went everywhere!
Epic Save!

"Mr. Schram, can the password be..." - Tressie

"Mr. Schram, can I be in the quotes page?" -- Elisabeth
She is the first and only person who will get on this page this way.

The fact that Misha's and Poala's Final Project description actually rhymed.

Mr. Poore being awarded a giant Presidential Pencil after the last Mass.

Gaby's red suitcase.

Connie causing a new JCreator error that I have never seen before:
"Code to large"
This was caused by one single method that was over 5000 lines long!

"I'm totally almost done Mr. Schram!" -- Annalisa

Practicing the Graduation Cap Toss with cardboard squares,
"Do not actually let go of the cardboard squares!"

"Back up.  Back up everyone.  Beep.  Beep.  Beep"

Mrs. Dubouwski giving high-5s to the seniors.

Anna's Standing Ovation

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What I will remember most
from JPII HS Class of 2012

"Oops, that was really loud."
--- Audrey

"It is so cold.  I like it warm."
-- John Scott,
as he wrapped a scarf around his ears.

Jessica's Dancing Robots

"Oh my gosh, I thought I lost my 8th graders."
-- Ambassador Claire

The time Jack tried to pick up his sensor equipped robot while it was still running...
and it avoided him.

"I have entered the one command that completely finished my program
and displays it in amazing life-like detail." -- John Walsh

"Oh yes it does!" --
Audrey and Erin in unison when I said
"I know the Athenaeum has a coffee machine, but it has a hot chocolate machine as well?"

Audrey finding a Harry Potter T-shirt in her backpack.
"She got it from the T-Shirt Fairy" -- Brian

"No, I have no plastic baby in my cake...
Now that's a sentence I did not think I would be saying today."
-- me in reguards to a Masi Gras Lunch.

"There is something in my shoe, I swear." -- Audrey

"I helped your students with the mean, and the median, but not the mode.
So essentially, I was mean with the mode." -- Mr. L. Schram

Bringing my daughter to Cardinal Commitment Day.

The time I was conducting a Lab/Lecture and wanted my students
to load program NXT0711.rbt, so I said, "Let's go to 711."
One of my students responded with a loud enthusiastic "OK!"

The day Brian went to Math tutoring and came back with pie.
That's "pie", not 3.14159...  He came back with apple and pecan.

Renee's reaction to the bubbling soft drink that spilled on my carpet.
Which caused "bubble" to be the password for the quiz.

"I do not think the fact that my printer ran out of ink
at the same time the athenaeum printer broke down
is evidence of a grand conspiracy." -- me

Showing Jonathan the proper way to sneeze.

"Duck tape will fix it." -- Ryan

"Our robot has Tourettes!" -- Aaron, Garrett & Lenna

"Donde Esta Hand Sanitizer?" -- Sterling

"Don't judge me becaue I have a pillow pet." -- John Scott

"Why are we mummifying Aaron?"

Gerard, Davis and Kermit

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What I will remember most
from JPII HS Class of 2013

Amy Eckler's Poem

My daughter, Jessica, at my school

Spinning Jump Drives


"Let me anamatize it" -- Max

"I not going to do a negative, that will some kind of null pointer...
OK, I will do it." -- Max

"I only have the 100." --
Various students in Advanced Graphics

I can't let you do that Dave.

It's Dave's fault.

Shorts and even socks with capes on Super Hero Day.

"Does somebody seriously not know the difference between Mr. Spock and Chewbacca?"

fillArc-ish -- Max

2 words I never thought I would here during Mass -- "Zombie Apocalypse"

"My program only works when I run out of memory.
When I undo and get more memory is stops working."  --  Thomas

"What are you smart at?"  --  Thomas

"Morgan, why does Alexandra only have one eye?"

"Illegal Argument Exception? -- What are you illegalizing?" -- Max

Othello Championship between Anthony's A.I. and Thomas' A.I.

1:30 WOOOOOO!  --  Anthony

"We have whales spawning on land!  Max fix it!" -- Anthony

"That is not my re-spawn-sibility."  --  Max

"Are you clicking on stuff?  Cause that is never a good idea."  -- Max

"I don't like commenting things out." -- Max

"This is how you animatedly move stuff." -- Max

"Everything changed when the fire nation attacked." -- Matt


"In that case, wouldn't they need a DOCTOR?" -- Me

"3D Naval Battle?" -- Zach

"Portal Kid!"

"You are too early Richard!"

"JR beating my unbeatable Tic-Tac-Toe A.I."

"I gave you that case.  Wait, I sold you that case.  You still owe me 2 bucks." -- Grayson

"I think Ralph is the most loved senior ever."

The day Anthony brought peach/rasberry cobler to class.

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